Odd's and Ends During Super Bowl Week

History

So I’m listening to the news this morning and I hear that Britney Spears is locked up in a psych ward this morning and it got me to thinking about the uber-skank wars that have raged the past several years. You all know whom the uber-skank’s are don’t you? Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris are the A-Lister’s with Nicole Richie, Tara Reid, Pamela and other young, stupid, Hollywood hotties who garner more than their share of attention they deserve when compared to their talent. But this is about the top 2. Britney and Lohan.

Before I go on, let me just say that I like Britney and really don’t have a problem with her except where it comes to the way she is raising her kids, or as is the case, not raising her kids. Lohan on the other hand is so repulsive to me that let me just say, or paraphrase, with all props to whoever, possibly Ben Stiller, that said it first, “I wouldn’t fuck Lindsay Lohan with Bea Arthur’s dick.”

But enough of that already, this isn’t about all of that. This is about trying to maintain that number one slut, I mean slot. Or actually how this relates to something that happened more than 20 years ago and how humorous I found it and how this smacks of the same thing.

Some of you may be too young to remember when stand-up comedy was seemingly dominated by just a few really big names. Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, George Carlin were the really big names. Bill was the G-rated version, making clever observations about life and getting big laughs. Pryor was much more down and dirty with no subject being taboo. Carlin was kind of a mix. His humor being a little more cerebral than the other two, but getting in the gutter when he needed to and going G at times.

Cosby had other projects such as television and movies, but Carlin and Pryor at the time were pretty much about the stand-up even if Pryor had begun to take on movie roles. Cosby was considered the clean one with the nice-guy image and a near wholesome feeling. Carlin and Pryor both partied, to excess.

Well you can look up the exact timing of everything and who said what, but at one point Richard Pryor had a heart attack. He was still a relatively young man, but he was partying to the point of it being a career instead of recreational. About a year later George Carlin also had a heart attack, also when he was a relatively young man. Shortly after that Pryor suffered bad burns while free-basing cocaine. Not to be outdone, Carlin suffered another heart attack and joked about it in his stand-up routine saying that he led Pryor 2-1 in heart attacks, but Pryor led in burns. He joked that when Pryor burnt himself up and ‘Fuck it, I’m having another heart attack’.

Fast forward to this morning when I heard about Britney. Over the past couple of years Britney’s life had started to become more and more bizarre. Eventually she had 2 children and still she partied and acted like anything but a mother. Of course, what do you expect from some LA bayou kid who probably never knew right from wrong. In her case she had talent and that led to money which is not a good combination.

In the mean time, little Lindsay Lohan was growing up into a hottie herself, and, like Spears, was losing her mind. She was fighting her family, drinking and acting like a spoiled brat, which of course, she was.

Over the course of a couple of years, Lohan, Spears and Paris Hilton all battled for the top spot on the uber-skank chart. Paris seemed to be grabbing the lead with her TV show, constant photo ops, sex video and spoiled, rich kid behavior. That is until Britney and Lindsay began to pull out all of the stops. In fact, although Paris went to jail for her driving woes, she has pretty much dropped off the skank radar for the past several months.

But not Lindsay and Britney. Last year in a 2 month time period, Lohan was in and out of rehab 3 times. She was drunk, she was driving, she was busted twice in 48 hours last May for DUI. She was out of control. Not to be outdone, Spears went on a rampage that had her showing her crotch in paparazzi pictures, driving while holding her kid on her lap, fighting for the custody of her kids and generally showing anti-social behavior leading to today’s news.

Now I don’t believe for one second that Lohan will allow Spears to grab the top spot without a fight. It’s just that it reminds me so much of Carlin and Pryor back in the day. I can’t wait to see which one of these skanks makes the next move and what it will be!

SUPER BOWL 42

Okay, okay so the Giants DID have a chance. I never would have believed that they could have gone to Dallas AND to Green Bay and won. And in the Green Bay matchup, it was not about the weather, but simply that they were the inferior team. Same in Dallas. But win they did and now they are standing one game from being World Champions.

Honestly, other than die-hard fans and pie-in-the-sky, anything can happen types, did anyone think this team would make the Super Bowl? I sure as hell didn’t see it. Kind of reminds me of a team from last year. Remember who won the Super Bowl? Granted, the Colts were playing the Bears in the big game, but who really thought they’d even get there?

Last year, after what was a pretty lackluster regular season by the Colts, especially the defense, not many gave them a chance. Another 1 and done for the good guys! Kansas City and Larry Johnson was going to run all over the puny Colt D. Didn’t happen. A shaky Giant team probably couldn’t go to Tampa and beat the Bucs D even though the team had excelled on the road. Didn’t happen.

In the second game, the Raven D had a week off and was going to make little horsey patties out of the Colts. Didn’t happen. The Giants had no chance against what was supposed to be the NFC representative in the Super Bowl. Dallas was just too good. Didn’t happen.

Last year, the Patriots took care of the vaunted Chargers, but it was the Patriots and if they were good enough to win on the road at SDG then they’d have no problem with the Colts. Didn’t happen. Similarly, there was no way the Giants could go to frosty Green Bay and beat the vaunted Packers. Yeah, it was cold, but it didn’t seem to have an influence on the game. Still, the Packers should have ruled the day. Didn’t happen.

I’m not saying the Giants can beat the Patriots. This is where the argument breaks down. The Giants are the NFC team playing the seemingly superior AFC team in the Patriots. Last year, the Colts were the team from the superior AFC. This year the Giants are a huge underdog. Last year the Colts were the favorite. It’s just that the similarity in circumstances leading up to it are tantalizing to think about.

One last thing about the Super Bowl, or rather, the week leading up to it. Of course I am far less focused on the pregame “hike” than last year. Last year I caught just about everything the NFL Network and ESPN offered. This year, not so much. But one thing I have noticed is how little, Little Eli seems to be saying. Gap tooth Strahan can’t shut up, but Manning is silent it seems. Hope that works out for him, but I find it curious.

My prediction for the game, Patriots 37 Giants 20.

Colts :(

Where to begin? It’s been almost 20 hours since the Colts dropped their latest disappointment on us fans. Yesterday, in the final Colt game to be played at the RCA Dome the Colts lost to the San Diego Fucking Chargers 28-24. Besides being disappointed I am downright pissed off. The Colts came out and just played like crap. Other than an opening drive that produced a TD nothing came easy and more often than not, the defense failed to make plays.

After watching the Chargers last week I didn’t really think they had much of a chance. They played a lackluster game against the Titans and barely eked out a win at home. While I didn’t really think they were going to be a pushover, I didn’t expect them to really compete with the Colts. Boy, was I wrong! And like I said, the Colts played like crap!

Marvin was back after missing almost all of the season. He looked small and afraid out there and his first quarter fumble showed he really shouldn’t have been out there. Manning was okay, but he didn’t do anything above and beyond the call of duty. His two picks were tipped by the receivers. But when it counted most he overthrew Dallas to end the game.

The Colts only ran the ball 17 times. Neither the Mayor, nor Keef ever got untracked. Manning failed to look off his primary target continually and missed several wide-open guys down the field. He had time all day, but didn’t see very well.

So offensively we sucked, but we made up for it with shit defense. No pressure on Rivers gave him all day and their tall receivers made our midget DB’s look foolish. Hell everyone on D was a step behind all damn day. It didn’t make sense to me that we could neither get any pressure on Rivers nor could we hit their receivers at the line of scrimmage and slow them down. They toyed with us all day. And I knew when Volek came in we were in trouble. We’d seen that asshole beat us when he was with the Tacks.

It is all just so sad. Our last game in the dome, wasted. I don’t really think we were going to go to Foxboro and win, but at least we had another week. Now we have nothing. Maybe even less if Tony Dungy steps down as many expect him to. Many even think Marvin is going to call it a day. I don’t know if either will happen, but it will be sad to see either or both go.

As for the dome, I’ll miss it. For years I have said it is a great football stadium. Sure it lacked a lot of the creature comforts of the newer places, but as it is configured the fans are right on top of the action. Plus with only two levels everyone seems together. Like one big happy family. I love Conseco as an arena, but it has such an antiseptic feeling to it as well as having a real have and have-not feel to it. When I sit down low I feel no connection to those in the upper deck. Conversely, when I sit up there I feel no connection to the lower level. I pray the Luke isn’t like that, but I think it will.

But, the dome, home for 24 seasons of Colt football. We’ve nicked the Steel Curtain banner in the first year. Dressed in tuxes the day after one of the guys got married to go to the game. We’ve made friends with those around us. Talked to an Indiana legend. Drove some fans away. Yelled until it hurt to yell any more. Hung our heads in disgust at some of the play. Cheered at some of the more inspired play. Suffered through the darkness of 1-15 and 3-13 seasons. Roared our approval as the team won its first 14 games a couple of seasons ago only to have our hearts ripped from us much like yesterday. We’ve been to the top of the mountain beating the Patriots last year in the AFCCG and ultimately the day after the Super Bowl win, in the dome for a celebration for our conquering champions. I’ve been to NCAA tournament games, IU-Kentucky basketball games. I’ve seen the Rebels win state championships there. Watched IU play football. Been in the suites and sat near the top row of the place. All told I figured up last year that I had missed a grand total of 11 games since the Colts have been here. 12 after the Titan game this year. No one can call me fair weathered. 14-2, 13-3, 9-7, 4-12, 1-5. You name the record, I’ve been there.

I’ve seen Montana, Marino (too many times), Young, Favre, Elway, Aikman, Kelly and Esiason. I’ve seen Barry Sanders run and Jerry Rice catch. I’ve yelled at Mike Ditka and gave the finger to countless opponents.

I’ve seen our own teams, some with superior talent, some with minimal. I saw us waste 5 years on the Jeff George plan. I’ve seen Eric Dickerson, Marshall Faulk and the Edge all run the ball for us. Lately we’ve had the pleasure of watching Marvin, Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark catch the balls Peyton Manning throws. And while he may have not been as sharp yesterday, for the past 10 years I’ve watched nearly every play Manning has played.

I saw a team led by Jim Harbaugh take the team to the brink of the Super Bowl. Captain Comeback may have had the biggest heart of any QB to play the game.

I know enough not to be spoiled by the current run of success, but I also know to appreciate it and not forget what came before. I appreciate what Jim Irsay has done to make the franchise a winner. I may not care for Bill Polian’s attitude, but I tip my hat to his football mind.

Yes, yesterday is a tough pill to swallow. Hell, listening to the National Anthem for the last time got me all misty. I was almost in tears in the car going just thinking about it. I had to tap this out today because it will help me get over the bad part of the game. But I have great memories of the dome. After this I am ready to start building memories in the new place!